Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
