someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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