Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
