but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
