i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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