Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
