i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
