I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
