so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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