This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize