u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
