is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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