Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
