How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My feet surprised me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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