If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
