You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
