sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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