I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
