Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
