He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
