just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
