she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
