We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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