if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
