Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
