i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
