he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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