her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Send help, water and tortillas.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
