thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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