____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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