NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
