STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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