You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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