Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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