i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
