Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
