I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
