This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
