I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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