Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
