we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
