I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
