help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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