We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
