yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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