this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
