party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
