haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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