Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
