pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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