I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
